Wednesday, August 17, 2011
What do you think of my prologue?
I think this could be a great story. However, this part of the story needs to be improved on. This entire part is basically a character description of Jade. While it is nice to know these things, this story would be more if you showed these things. Bring up an instance where Jade and the narrator shared a big secret. Show that as a smaller story. Bring up another instances when Jade would stick up or stand up for the narrator. Bring up another instances where Jade and the narrator got into trouble and stood by each other. Discuss more about Jade becoming a wild child and doing things that were bad, but show that she always confided in the narrator. Basically, what you have here is about 5 or 10 smaller stories that would really bring Jade to life and give her more depth as a character. Don't be afraid to explore this and really bring out this character. Obviously, you want the reader to know all these things about Jade because of the plot, but it is always to show instead of tell reader the life of your character. Good luck.
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