When your life is about helping teenage lads, is it a betrayal of comradship to have with them?

It would be a betrayal of trust. They need to gain confidence and are seeking help because of this. You give them false hope and that's not your job. You may feel emotionally involved, but your better course of action would be to help them to feel more complete in their own right, rather than having to depend upon you to feel good about themselves.